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一汉子进城,肚子里感觉不舒服。他怀疑是否刚才买了两个桃子没洗就吃了,桃子是不是沾有农药?他想找个厕所解决一下。转了几圈找不到厕所。无奈,只得问路人。路人一指。汉子顺着指的方向果然见一房子。房子修的很漂亮。红砖兰瓦,下半部还是黛青色大理石贴面,地下打着马赛克。汉子认字,他找不到厕所二字,只见迎面门头上有收费WC几个字,心里说,这房子这么豪华,那里是厕所,分明就是电视上说的有钱人住的别墅。汉子又一看,这房子大门两边还有一幅对联,上联是,英雄豪杰敢不曲膝折腰,下联是,淑女千金甘愿宽衣解带。汉子一惊,这么大口气!好像是皇帝的派头。他又一想,现在那有皇帝,敢情是反映皇宫生活的展览馆吧。今天既然碰上了,我得看看皇帝是怎样生活的。他看凡进去的人都要向门口的人交5元钱。他心说门票还不贵。就从口袋里找岀5元钱递给门口的人,大方的走了进去。一入大门,迎面一块大镜子,镜子下面一溜洗手池,他想,还是皇宫里讲究,不干净的人还不让进。他就将手洗了几遍。这才发现,左右各有一个门,,门上方一个有个烟斗图案,一个有个像女人穿的裙子。有烟斗的站着一个小伙子,有裙子的站着一个姑娘。他不知道该进那个门。就随着刚进来的一个男子向左边走去。走到冂口,那个小伙子徽笑的问他,先生,你要小解吗?汉子吓坏了,心里话,怪不得这么客气,原来是干这个的。他忙说,我不要,说罢,掉头就走。那个小伙子赶紧说,先去,你是要大解吗?汉子气急败坏的说,大姐小姐我都不要。箭一样窜了岀去,连头都不敢回,生怕被人拽回去。由于急走,肚子里的东西突然发作了,一股一股的冲击着他的肛门。他想,当务之急是得找厕所,刻不容缓,千万别将裤子弄脏。他暗骂城里人不实在,哄着他进入那样的是非之地。他在电视看了那多抓捕卖淫嫖娼的案例,庆幸自己立场坚定,不为色迷,否则,是坑是井,事实难料。他多了个心眼,想到一句话,有困难,找警察。他见十字路口有个警亭,直接过去。果见一个警察正在向一位大妈指路。他走上前,客气的对警察说,同志,请问这附近有没有厕所?警察说,你顺这个胡同口往里走50米,右手有个公厕。他又问,收费吗?警察说,不收费。他想快点过去,无奈尾骨最后的一道关口似有决堤的势头。他只有收腹提肛,夹紧双腿,又急又不能太急的向前走去。终于走到了厕所,男,女两字赫立两旁。他进入男厕,找了个空档退裤蹲下。这时,他如畅开一泻了之,分分钟就可完事了。可汉子偏偏是个讲究人。他不想让城里人瞧不起他,他就尽量控制流量,漫漫地往下流。正在这时,急匆匆从外面又过来一个人。只见他西装革履,戴一宽边眼镜,脖子上还系着一条领带,看模样不是干部,就是教师一类的文人。那人三步並作两步,冲进厕所,一步跨过沟沿,裤子还没褪到膝盖,身子还是半蹲,就开播了。似箭一样的东西冲到沟厎,激起水花四溅。汉子一看,心说城里人咋了,不也毬样。我何必自虐,索性放开吧。他是想到做到,闸门一开,如六月惊雷,如鞭炸四野,只听咔嚓嚓一声响,由于压力过大,急件喷涌而出,溅起的水花回敬到他的臀部,淅淅沥沥的又顺势流下。好在他有准备,一张大报纸将一切都处理的干干净净。这时,他才注意到,这个厕所是一条沟,沟上已有六七个人在同时方便。他想起了一首诗,脚踏黄河两岸,手拿秘密文件,前头机枪扫射,后跟一溜炮弹。出厕所后,他感觉浑身舒服,一种幸福感油然而生。幸福是什么?幸福是内急时找到了厕所,就这么简单。他感谢这个厕所,不由自主的又回头瞄了一眼,这才发现,厕所两旁也有一付对联,左边写的是,进门三步紧,右边的是,出门一身松。
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